Life is movement, change, and continual transformation. If everything stayed the same life would not only be boring, it would cease to exist. When you are challenged with changes in your life that seemingly “come out of the blue,” or are initiated by external forces or that you are unprepared for, it is natural to put on the brakes and resist. Sometimes change is hard to understand. As Alan Watts says, “The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.” These days I am feeling the quick motion of life sweeping me off my feet into an entirely new realm and the only thing I can do is go with the flow. Jumping into this river of life can be demanding because it can be so easy and comfortable to stay on the shore of what is known....
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You’ve heard it before, “Forgive and Move on,” and inside you are still reeling from the pain and hurt that has been done and there is no way you want to “forgive, forget or move on.” The feeling of violation is strong and you feel justified in blaming and having resentment. If you were betrayed, unloved, neglected, rejected, lied to, cheated, dismissed, manipulated, silenced, emotionally or physically abused, you want justice and acknowledgment of the wrong that has been done to you.... The Longing for Home is the Longing to Belong. Isolation and the belief that you are alone in a chaotic world crushes your spirit. More and more in our world of inter-connected technology devoid of touch and face-to-face kindness, the dis-ease of isolation is causing depression and anxiety. A return to feeling connected to others and belonging here in the world begins with connection within and the sense of Home. The sense of Home is more than a function of place and time in the external environment. It is a deeply felt sense in the interior of your being. It arises in connection with your soul and an engaged, concerned relationship with the world... Sunbeams, blue sky and daily temperatures rising into the high 70’s beckon me into the garden. Sweet birdsong from robins, finches and doves lighten my mood. The bright blue jacketed jays distinctly stand out as they sit in tree branches just beginning to bud out. I feel drawn to the mystery taking place under the dry leaves. Finding my garden gloves and wielding one lawn rake, one shrub rake, my favorite Felco pruners, and garden shears, I venture into the orchard. It feels so good to stretch my arms and limbs in the rhythmic motion of raking the leaves and shriveled stems off of the candytuft. Luscious green mounds appear to float above the ground... WAKE UP! WAKE UP! Cock-a-doodle-do Cock-a-doodle-dooo!!!! WAKE UP! WAKE UP! It’s not going to stop…there is a relentless alarm to WAKE UP! Everywhere you look, people are in a heightened alert state. Everywhere you look, things are heating up and the steam is rising. There is fire in the core of our Being to wake up to our humanity, to wake up to the unity of all. Unity is a fact. Are you experiencing it? Only through experiencing it do you really know it. You might be annoyed by the extremes of this fire and of the blatant way the Rooster crows…louder…and louder...and louder. It won’t let you fall asleep. It won’t let you be complacent. You are waking up to life and to existence. What is your desire? Is it to have more material possessions, to have positions, titles, or achievements? Do you hold resentment, judge, want to control, or gain something from others? These desires are driven by psychological drives. Is it the desire to exist…the desire to be…the impulse to be compassionate? All of these experiences are a part of existence. What is left after all of these drives and experiences? It is simply Love. There is a kind of love that is redeeming. Restorative Love is “to restore things to their natural condition of Wholeness” It is this kind of Love that is an impulse to realize our Oneness with all of life. There is a deep connecting field of energy called Love that is continually working within each and every one of us to be conscious of our unity.
This Fiery Rooster energy is showing us all of the ways we have separated from each other and ourselves and to notice the ways we can come into greater unity by connecting. What works and what doesn't? Let this fiery energy work for you. It offers a big push to boldly look at your shadow aspects, reflect upon your values, communicate your truth, set appropriate and healthy boundaries, and become more compassionate and caring. This year is one of being aware of Relationship in All ways and forms. What is your relationship with pleasure? What is your relationship to people that have different views than yours? What is your relationship to your family and friends? Are you cultivating compassion? Are you consciously connecting with greater understanding? Are you willing to deeply look at the parts of you that separate and where you connect? It is simply to be Aware. Whatever you find, it is all right. Give yourself permission to feel what you feel. It does not make you wrong or bad to have desire, to have separated from yourself or to separate from others. Observe where you are. Awareness itself brings an awakening of consciousness. You have been told stories about your emotions that are not true. I do not wish to call them lies because for the most part these “untruths” were unintentional. These falsehoods have led to more suffering and pain. They have kept you from connecting to yourself, your inner guidance and your heart... This time of year of giving is one that sparks a giggle of glee in me. Around the end of November, I am already thinking about the special people in my life and what I can offer to bring them delight and to let them know they are loved. My little child comes out and I want to play. It may not be everyone’s version of the holidays but I definitely have visions of bright twinkling lights, freshly fallen snow glistening under the sun’s shower of rays, gingerbread cookies and my favorite holiday treat, Stollen. Intense spicy smells of pine, cinnamon, nutmeg, eggnog and hot cider fill the house with all of those rich aromas that are warm and cozy when I come inside on a frosty snowy day... I have never been comfortable with anger. It is disquieting, to say the least. I prefer smooth, harmonious relationships with no conflict; where everyone gets along and is accepting, even when they don’t agree. Anger disrupts my inner peace. It is a brash, bold, incorrigible bully with power and intensity that cannot be ignored.... “Anxious, stressed, scattered, I can’t concentrate and can’t sleep through the night. I am not in physical danger, but I just never feel safe.” The aftermath of fearful situations or the uncertainty that the world is not a safe place can leave you shaky, unsure and on edge. You have lost a grounded sense of security. How do you develop an internal feeling of safety? You may wonder if or even believe that a haven of serenity exists inside of you, but when fear arises you may wonder how to get past the fear... Fear gets a bad rap. When it strikes, it zaps you with an instantaneous jolt of alarm so powerful that nothing else registers but the feeling of sheer panic. Your body screams, “I could die, I could be harmed, I am in danger.” All of your senses and bodily functions are corralled into doing just one thing….to get you away from whatever is the source of danger. With lightning speed Fear propels you towards Safety. It is the body’s most protective emotion..... Conflict is difficult for me. Life has taught me that my desire for everyone to get along and be in harmony is an almost impossible expectation. I especially struggle when family members show disappointment and criticize my choice to do something, be with someone or be somewhere that goes against what they desire or want. It feels as though I am being torn apart and made to decide between my life and the people I love. No matter what choice I make someone will be hurt. In the past, guilt would tear at my heart and eat me up. The pain would muddle my thoughts and hold my energy hostage. I could not be fully present to my own needs. It created a “No-Win” situation for my family, my friends and me... Mid spring inside rooms stacked high with books, magazines, papers, and paraphernalia finds me sorting through eons of my life. Clothing from the 80’s still smell of good times camping, dinner club parties, couples sans kids, skiing, dancing, singing, playing in the band, and long summer nights throwing darts as we downed tequila and spent hours reflecting on life and the state of the world.... Do you want to have friends, be liked and create a fabulous first impression? Then, courteous and respectful behaviors are ones you will want to acquire. Being respectful, polite and having good manners creates harmonious relationships and connections. We all enjoy people that make us feel seen and heard. When people are interested in your opinions and interests, you feel valued and accepted. When people pay attention to making you comfortable and safe, and respect your personal space and possessions, you feel their care. A person who offers generous doses of kindness and consideration is likable, attractive and more successful in life.... |
Psychotherapist MA
Clinical Hypnotherapist Relational Life Couples Therapist International Teacher Meditation Facilitator Shamanic Practitioner Dreamer, Visionary, Writer Recent Posts
March 2021
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