Category: Ego

Burned Out: Rising Up Out of Anxiety and Stress

9/29/2020

Have you been checking the news? Often? Every day? Is it comforting or ramping up your anxiety? In an attempt to grab and keep your attention the headlines sensationalize the latest traumatic event in order to provoke a heightened emotional response. Your brain is geared to being alert to threats to your safety. Even hearing and imagining worrisome, shocking or disturbing events causes stress hormones to stream into your body. When you watch repeated startling images it can invoke a posttraumatic stress response. Your body does not know the difference between an event you are watching or imagining happening and actually experiencing it.....

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Waking Up from a Long Slumber in the Midst of an Existential Crisis

8/30/2020

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The shut down of the world came as a surprise. Did you even imagine that it would be possible for nearly 7 billion people to stop their ‘normal’ activities and go into seclusion? In my part of the world the retreat began in March. I was suddenly thrust into an alternate reality. But it took time for me to comprehend the change....

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Unsolicited Advice: Helpful or Rude?

9/18/2018

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The need to “help” others or "fixing" the world and all that is wrong with it or whatever needs to be done “the right and proper way” has created a mindset amongst people with good intentions of overstepping the propriety of appropriate boundaries. It has become commonplace for people to give unsolicited advice even about the simplest of tasks. It is almost a thoughtless reaction by some to tell a stranger or loved one what they “ought to do, should do, or how to do something.” In the mind of those giving this advice it may seem to be helpful or even done presumably from a heartfelt place. Yet, unless done with permission, it is actually a violation of another person’s autonomy....

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Relational Awareness: Part 3 - Moving Out of Power and Control

6/30/2018

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Your first entrance into the world begins with relationship. You come into the world with a small body that needs nurturing and care. You cannot survive on your own. You are not ready to stand and take care of yourself; you are dependent and vulnerable. Naturally, there is an inborn fear of separation and a need to attach and bond. Dependency is a gift that makes it necessary for you to be connected and engage with people and life. Being seen with caring attention not only means that your basic physical needs will be met, it also fulfills a soulful need of value for simply being, it reflects back to you that you exist. “I exist, therefore I am.” You have an innate need to know that you belong, are valued, have meaning and are inherently good and worthy....

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Relational Awareness: (Part 2) Mirroring Unresolved Wounds

5/31/2018

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Did a ray of sunlight enter your life and suddenly a radiant being appeared in your midst that invoked a magnetic pull? What attracted you to your partner in the first place? Did she have a smile that melted you? Did his enthusiasm and playful nature capture your desire for freedom and fun? Did you admire his or her humor, assertiveness, confidence, or intellect? Did she or he possess a savvy adventurous spirit? Did you share similar interests or concordant life paths? Perhaps it was charm and kindness that felt like a comforting hug. Did you feel safe? Maybe you experienced your partner intently absorbed and interested in you. It felt so special. To be truly seen fulfills a longing to be known. Knowing we are accepted just as we are gives us a sense of deep belonging.....

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The Power of Forgiveness When You Have Been Wronged

5/20/2017

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You’ve heard it before, “Forgive and Move on,” and inside you are still reeling from the pain and hurt that has been done and there is no way you want to “forgive, forget or move on.” The feeling of violation is strong and you feel justified in blaming and having resentment. If you were betrayed, unloved, neglected, rejected, lied to, cheated, dismissed, manipulated, silenced, emotionally or physically abused, you want justice and acknowledgment of the wrong that has been done to you....

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What Happens to You when Your Family or Friends Disapprove

6/29/2016

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Conflict is difficult for me. Life has taught me that my desire for everyone to get along and be in harmony is an almost impossible expectation. I especially struggle when family members show disappointment and criticize my choice to do something, be with someone or be somewhere that goes against what they desire or want. It feels as though I am being torn apart and made to decide between my life and the people I love. No matter what choice I make someone will be hurt. In the past, guilt would tear at my heart and eat me up. The pain would muddle my thoughts and hold my energy hostage. I could not be fully present to my own needs. It created a “No-Win” situation for my family, my friends and me...

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Whatever happened to Kindness, Caring and Respect? Why Kindness Matters

3/31/2016

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Have you noticed a change in mainstream cultural values especially regarding the way people treat others? You may wonder what happened to kindness, caring and respect? Have you sensed a growing acceptance of rudeness and disrespect as being okay? Somehow we have forgotten how to be nice....

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Red Fire Monkey and Your Inner Protector

2/8/2016

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Opening into Compassionate Presence
Last year of 2015 was the Chinese year of the Wood Sheep (Ram) where new possibilities, hopes and dreams were gestating. It was also a time of cleansing, releasing and facing difficult truths in order to form new patterns of connection. As you enter the Red Fire Monkey on Feb. 8, 2016, you step into a fresh opening where new aspects of yourself are birthing and developing a healthier connection to yourself and others.

Monkeys are inquisitive, quick, adaptable, intelligent, inventive and versatile; monkeys always keep you on your toes. It will be an adventurous fiery year of unpredictability. Monkeys are known to hop from one activity to another, so it is wise to observe what you really care about and what brings you and others love, joy and connection. There will be plenty of creative opportunities opening up. The key is to walk into the year with compassion for your vulnerabilities as well as your abilities...

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Using the Guidance of Your Inner Critic as a Touchstone for Healthy Internal Esteem (part 2 inner critic series)

6/19/2015

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Is your worth based upon your performance, or perhaps on your status or what you have acquired in life? Maybe it is based upon others' opinions of you. When the voice of your Inner Critic disapproves of your abilities, performance, appearance, the possessions you own, or how you appear to others it can feel like a severe blow to your self-worth. This often happens after you receive some disappointment or loss in life. In that moment, you begin judging yourself as “less than” or a failure, and your energy contracts. You protect your vulnerability by attempting to shut down or ignore the criticism. You try to control it by pushing against the voice. Whenever you push on an object or energy, you meet resistance. The response of the superego is to push back harder and criticize louder. It is merely doing its job of safeguarding your beliefs and values, holding you accountable and attempting to motivate you. (the inner critic part 1) It seems counterintuitive to approach this voice and find out what it is pointing out yet listening to it tells you how you judge and criticize yourself and what matters to you. It reveals what may or may not require a shift in perspective or a corrective action. One gift it gives you is showing you your level of esteem and if that is externally or internally driven self-esteem...

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The Purifying Power of Pluto: Transcending the Lower Self

3/29/2015

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When a Grand Trine in Water paired with a Grand Trine in Earth, a bold configuration was formed called “The ‘Grand Sextile’ of July 29, 2013″. Within these stellar geometries, concentrated energies of purification called all of humanity to release any vestiges of fear of the divine feminine so that we can fully inhabit all of our being. Much has been and will be written about this illustrious astronomical configuration and all of the wonders it heralds for our time....

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Burned Out: Rising Up Out of Anxiety and Stress

Waking Up from a Long Slumber in the Midst of an Existential Crisis

Unsolicited Advice: Helpful or Rude?

Relational Awareness: Part 3 - Moving Out of Power and Control

Relational Awareness: (Part 2) Mirroring Unresolved Wounds

The Power of Forgiveness When You Have Been Wronged

What Happens to You when Your Family or Friends Disapprove

Whatever happened to Kindness, Caring and Respect? Why Kindness Matters

Red Fire Monkey and Your Inner Protector

Using the Guidance of Your Inner Critic as a Touchstone for Healthy Internal Esteem (part 2 inner critic series)

The Purifying Power of Pluto: Transcending the Lower Self

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