The sunlight bounces off the myriad shades of burnished auburn and gold as I rake leaves into plump piles. The azure sky is a deeper blue in autumn as the angle of the sun dips lower. The air has a bit of a chill. In Colorado the sun is quite intense and so the temperature is neither too hot nor too cold. It is the perfect time to be in the garden or golfing or hiking or doing any activity outdoors. "The Heart that gives thanks is a happy one, for we cannot feel thankful and unhappy at the same time." ~ Douglas Wood...
A sweeping wave moves through people’s lives dissolving the past and transforming their relationships with one another. This may take the form of separation or ending. It is an awakening but in the moment it can seem like total collapse or disconnection. You may be experiencing this in your life or have observed it in the lives of your friends. It feels much like a crushing tsunami that exposes the disturbing underbelly of unmet expectations, unfulfilled dreams, incompatibilities, betrayals, dishonesty, gossip, rejection, offenses, and rigid, dishonorable, selfish, competitive, controlling or combative behaviors. Any one of these will upend a sense of integrity that dismantles what formerly had been stable...
We all do it, make assumptions about the intentions of others. Words or a behavior of someone disturbs your sense of self or connection and you get triggered from the wounded place inside of you. Suddenly your thoughts go to the worst scenario about them or your relationship with them. Your mind goes off into a story about the meaning of their words, actions or inaction and it gets magnified. These unconscious habits create misunderstandings, conflict, fights and assumptions about the intentions of the other person or their version of the truth. Whenever you claim to know what was “really” going on inside of another, you are sure to induce a collision of realities. The battle becomes “whose version is right?” In all probability neither of you is 100% correct.....
It’s tough when you are triggered. It happens jet fast. All of a sudden a prickly energy runs up your spine and you feel the energy rush to your head. You are ready to fight and hotly defend yourself or your anger turns icy and you freeze out whomever or whatever is disturbing you. Either way you disconnect. It keeps you relatively safe, but it doesn’t feel good...
You’ve heard it before, “Forgive and Move on,” and inside you are still reeling from the pain and hurt that has been done and there is no way you want to “forgive, forget or move on.” The feeling of violation is strong and you feel justified in blaming and having resentment. If you were betrayed, unloved, neglected, rejected, lied to, cheated, dismissed, manipulated, silenced, emotionally or physically abused, you want justice and acknowledgment of the wrong that has been done to you....
Sunbeams, blue sky and daily temperatures rising into the high 70’s beckon me into the garden. Sweet birdsong from robins, finches and doves lighten my mood. The bright blue jacketed jays distinctly stand out as they sit in tree branches just beginning to bud out. I feel drawn to the mystery taking place under the dry leaves. Finding my garden gloves and wielding one lawn rake, one shrub rake, my favorite Felco pruners, and garden shears, I venture into the orchard. It feels so good to stretch my arms and limbs in the rhythmic motion of raking the leaves and shriveled stems off of the candytuft. Luscious green mounds appear to float above the ground...
WAKE UP! WAKE UP! Cock-a-doodle-do Cock-a-doodle-dooo!!!!
WAKE UP! WAKE UP! It’s not going to stop…there is a relentless alarm to
Everywhere you look, people are in a heightened alert state. Everywhere you look, things are heating up and the steam is rising. There is fire in the core of our Being to wake up to our humanity, to wake up to the unity of all. Unity is a fact. Are you experiencing it? Only through experiencing it do you really know it.
You might be annoyed by the extremes of this fire and of the blatant way the Rooster crows…louder…and louder...and louder. It won’t let you fall asleep. It won’t let you be complacent. You are waking up to life and to existence.
What is your desire? Is it to have more material possessions, to have positions, titles, or achievements? Do you hold resentment, judge, want to control, or gain something from others? These desires are driven by psychological drives. Is it the desire to exist…the desire to be…the impulse to be compassionate? All of these experiences are a part of existence.
What is left after all of these drives and experiences? It is simply Love. There is a kind of love that is redeeming.
Restorative Love is “to restore things to their natural condition of Wholeness”
It is this kind of Love that is an impulse to realize our Oneness with all of life. There is a deep connecting field of energy called Love that is continually working within each and every one of us to be conscious of our unity.
This Fiery Rooster energy is showing us all of the ways we have separated from each other and ourselves and to notice the ways we can come into greater unity by connecting. What works and what doesn't? Let this fiery energy work for you. It offers a big push to boldly look at your shadow aspects, reflect upon your values, communicate your truth, set appropriate and healthy boundaries, and become more compassionate and caring.
This year is one of being aware of Relationship in All ways and forms. What is your relationship with pleasure? What is your relationship to people that have different views than yours? What is your relationship to your family and friends? Are you cultivating compassion? Are you consciously connecting with greater understanding? Are you willing to deeply look at the parts of you that separate and where you connect? It is simply to be Aware. Whatever you find, it is all right. Give yourself permission to feel what you feel. It does not make you wrong or bad to have desire, to have separated from yourself or to separate from others. Observe where you are. Awareness itself brings an awakening of consciousness.
I have never been comfortable with anger. It is disquieting, to say the least. I prefer smooth, harmonious relationships with no conflict; where everyone gets along and is accepting, even when they don’t agree. Anger disrupts my inner peace. It is a brash, bold, incorrigible bully with power and intensity that cannot be ignored....
My backyard could entertain a series on Animal Planet. The snow that fell a few days ago is crisscrossed with the footprints of coyotes, rabbits, foxes, raccoon, deer, a couple of hawks, dogs, cats, a human or two and assorted other smaller creatures. The major draw for the scavengers is a large raccoon carcass deposited on the snow by a coyote. Apparently, it is too heavy to take back to the den. I think about removing it, but watching the procession of wildlife taking a share of the feast is provocative......
Balance….Peace…I have been reflecting on both of these words with the Equinox on the 23rd and not coincidentally the International day of Peace just days prior on the 21st. Early this morning the balance point between the hours of sunlight shining on the earth and the hours of darkness heralding the change to spring in the southern hemisphere and autumn in the northern hemisphere occurred....
Relational Life Couples Therapist
International Teacher Meditation Facilitator
Dreamer, Visionary, Writer