My Heart Hurts: We Are One Family
Yesterday, my body collapsed and I was shrouded in despair and feelings of hopelessness over how we hurt one another. The weight in my heart gripped me in a state of grief and emptiness. Hopelessness and despair is a feeling that so many people live with every day. When you are constantly being denied, denigrated, blamed, shamed and worse in fear for your life, you can’t help but feel hopeless while the fire of an inner flame burns for equality. How demoralizing and bereft it is to not be free in a country that expounds freedom. I can only imagine the daily anguish felt from living this way. It is apparent that the acute pain caused by vile racism has plagued our nation since its inception causing the division and hatred we are experiencing today. We can no longer ignore the inequality and subjugation of any human. The separation we have caused is tearing us apart....
Doesn’t it feel wonderful when you know that someone cares for you? It is a deeply felt knowing that you are not alone in the world. It is an essential need. There is a longing to be connected to someone in your life that supports you and has your back. When you don’t feel “cared for” by your partner you experience disconnection. A lack of attention and care can leave you feeling unloved and forgotten......
One Air, One Breath, One Family
What we are experiencing on the planet is unprecedented. Never before have we had the magnitude of global interconnection and communication during a crisis that affects every human being, as we are experiencing in this moment.
Much of humanity is focused on the media, the daily changes in life and the effect it is having on distant parts of the globe as the Covid-19 virus circulates around the world. Where is your focus and attention going? You don’t need to listen to the news to know something remarkably uncommon is occurring....
The sunlight bounces off the myriad shades of burnished auburn and gold as I rake leaves into plump piles. The azure sky is a deeper blue in autumn as the angle of the sun dips lower. The air has a bit of a chill. In Colorado the sun is quite intense and so the temperature is neither too hot nor too cold. It is the perfect time to be in the garden or golfing or hiking or doing any activity outdoors. "The Heart that gives thanks is a happy one, for we cannot feel thankful and unhappy at the same time." ~ Douglas Wood...
Sometimes it is best to move on. Do you need a kick in the pants to disengage from people or situations that do not support you? Rejoice because the support is here for you now. The rising social consciousness in humanity mixed with the current cosmological aspects of Venus in motherly Cancer opposing Saturn the taskmaster in Capricorn has created a time period ripe for movement. It is a movement towards freedom from emotional constraints and patterns of lack that oppress your spirit....
A sweeping wave moves through people’s lives dissolving the past and transforming their relationships with one another. This may take the form of separation or ending. It is an awakening but in the moment it can seem like total collapse or disconnection. You may be experiencing this in your life or have observed it in the lives of your friends. It feels much like a crushing tsunami that exposes the disturbing underbelly of unmet expectations, unfulfilled dreams, incompatibilities, betrayals, dishonesty, gossip, rejection, offenses, and rigid, dishonorable, selfish, competitive, controlling or combative behaviors. Any one of these will upend a sense of integrity that dismantles what formerly had been stable...
It’s tough when you are triggered. It happens jet fast. All of a sudden a prickly energy runs up your spine and you feel the energy rush to your head. You are ready to fight and hotly defend yourself or your anger turns icy and you freeze out whomever or whatever is disturbing you. Either way you disconnect. It keeps you relatively safe, but it doesn’t feel good...
Did a ray of sunlight enter your life and suddenly a radiant being appeared in your midst that invoked a magnetic pull? What attracted you to your partner in the first place? Did she have a smile that melted you? Did his enthusiasm and playful nature capture your desire for freedom and fun? Did you admire his or her humor, assertiveness, confidence, or intellect? Did she or he possess a savvy adventurous spirit? Did you share similar interests or concordant life paths? Perhaps it was charm and kindness that felt like a comforting hug. Did you feel safe? Maybe you experienced your partner intently absorbed and interested in you. It felt so special. To be truly seen fulfills a longing to be known. Knowing we are accepted just as we are gives us a sense of deep belonging.....
Returning Love and Harmony to Your Relationships: Part 1 Energizing the Love Bond
Typically, when couples enter counseling, they have built up a pressure cooker of issues that have created an atmosphere of resentment and distrust resulting in blame, misunderstanding, and unhappiness. Energetically, their wounded heart is stuck in a cesspool of hurt, anger and despair. It is difficult to see a way out yet usually at least one of them has a hope that things can improve...
The Fire Rooster’s wake up call in 2017 was a doozy. The disturbing crowing of the rooster echoed the disturbance and chaos in the world. Normally quiet people living their lives without concern or care about the outside world were shaken so much that they came out of their cocoons to voice their opinions and speak up for their values. It was a Yin year for catalyzing the feminine in all of us to feel the fiery heat of our truth and to be aware of our internal beliefs and values....
An Ode to the Garden of Home
Sunbeams, blue sky and daily temperatures rising into the high 70’s beckon me into the garden. Sweet birdsong from robins, finches and doves lighten my mood. The bright blue jacketed jays distinctly stand out as they sit in tree branches just beginning to bud out. I feel drawn to the mystery taking place under the dry leaves. Finding my garden gloves and wielding one lawn rake, one shrub rake, my favorite Felco pruners, and garden shears, I venture into the orchard. It feels so good to stretch my arms and limbs in the rhythmic motion of raking the leaves and shriveled stems off of the candytuft. Luscious green mounds appear to float above the ground...
WAKE UP! WAKE UP! Cock-a-doodle-do Cock-a-doodle-dooo!!!!
WAKE UP! WAKE UP! It’s not going to stop…there is a relentless alarm to
Everywhere you look, people are in a heightened alert state. Everywhere you look, things are heating up and the steam is rising. There is fire in the core of our Being to wake up to our humanity, to wake up to the unity of all. Unity is a fact. Are you experiencing it? Only through experiencing it do you really know it.
You might be annoyed by the extremes of this fire and of the blatant way the Rooster crows…louder…and louder...and louder. It won’t let you fall asleep. It won’t let you be complacent. You are waking up to life and to existence.
What is your desire? Is it to have more material possessions, to have positions, titles, or achievements? Do you hold resentment, judge, want to control, or gain something from others? These desires are driven by psychological drives. Is it the desire to exist…the desire to be…the impulse to be compassionate? All of these experiences are a part of existence.
What is left after all of these drives and experiences? It is simply Love. There is a kind of love that is redeeming.
Restorative Love is “to restore things to their natural condition of Wholeness”
It is this kind of Love that is an impulse to realize our Oneness with all of life. There is a deep connecting field of energy called Love that is continually working within each and every one of us to be conscious of our unity.
This Fiery Rooster energy is showing us all of the ways we have separated from each other and ourselves and to notice the ways we can come into greater unity by connecting. What works and what doesn't? Let this fiery energy work for you. It offers a big push to boldly look at your shadow aspects, reflect upon your values, communicate your truth, set appropriate and healthy boundaries, and become more compassionate and caring.
This year is one of being aware of Relationship in All ways and forms. What is your relationship with pleasure? What is your relationship to people that have different views than yours? What is your relationship to your family and friends? Are you cultivating compassion? Are you consciously connecting with greater understanding? Are you willing to deeply look at the parts of you that separate and where you connect? It is simply to be Aware. Whatever you find, it is all right. Give yourself permission to feel what you feel. It does not make you wrong or bad to have desire, to have separated from yourself or to separate from others. Observe where you are. Awareness itself brings an awakening of consciousness.
The Annual Snowball Fight
This time of year of giving is one that sparks a giggle of glee in me. Around the end of November, I am already thinking about the special people in my life and what I can offer to bring them delight and to let them know they are loved. My little child comes out and I want to play. It may not be everyone’s version of the holidays but I definitely have visions of bright twinkling lights, freshly fallen snow glistening under the sun’s shower of rays, gingerbread cookies and my favorite holiday treat, Stollen. Intense spicy smells of pine, cinnamon, nutmeg, eggnog and hot cider fill the house with all of those rich aromas that are warm and cozy when I come inside on a frosty snowy day...
“Anxious, stressed, scattered, I can’t concentrate and can’t sleep through the night. I am not in physical danger, but I just never feel safe.” The aftermath of fearful situations or the uncertainty that the world is not a safe place can leave you shaky, unsure and on edge. You have lost a grounded sense of security. How do you develop an internal feeling of safety? You may wonder if or even believe that a haven of serenity exists inside of you, but when fear arises you may wonder how to get past the fear...
Conflict is difficult for me. Life has taught me that my desire for everyone to get along and be in harmony is an almost impossible expectation. I especially struggle when family members show disappointment and criticize my choice to do something, be with someone or be somewhere that goes against what they desire or want. It feels as though I am being torn apart and made to decide between my life and the people I love. No matter what choice I make someone will be hurt. In the past, guilt would tear at my heart and eat me up. The pain would muddle my thoughts and hold my energy hostage. I could not be fully present to my own needs. It created a “No-Win” situation for my family, my friends and me...
Relational Life Couples Therapist
International Teacher Meditation Facilitator
Dreamer, Visionary, Writer