Category: Self Esteem

My Heart Hurts: We Are One Family

5/31/2020

Art by Gaelle Marcel

Yesterday, my body collapsed and I was shrouded in despair and feelings of hopelessness over how we hurt one another. The weight in my heart gripped me in a state of grief and emptiness. Hopelessness and despair is a feeling that so many people live with every day. When you are constantly being denied, denigrated, blamed, shamed and worse in fear for your life, you can’t help but feel hopeless while the fire of an inner flame burns for equality. How demoralizing and bereft it is to not be free in a country that expounds freedom. I can only imagine the daily anguish felt from living this way. It is apparent that the acute pain caused by vile racism has plagued our nation since its inception causing the division and hatred we are experiencing today. We can no longer ignore the inequality and subjugation of any human. The separation we have caused is tearing us apart....

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Give Me a Break: Change and Transformation is Rocking My World

12/31/2019

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It has been quite a ride and sometimes as I look back on 2019, I feel like my life was swept up inside a whirligig with the continuous momentum pulling me from one relational experience to the next. It has been a year of connecting with friends, loved ones and new people, which has been richly rewarding. There are so many dear people that I did not connect with yet have been so present in my heart. I remind myself that there is time for everything and how valuable it is to pause and reflect on what this year has brought...

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Wake Up to Your Life of Joy: Freedom from Oppression

7/19/2019

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Botticelli's Venus

Sometimes it is best to move on. Do you need a kick in the pants to disengage from people or situations that do not support you? Rejoice because the support is here for you now. The rising social consciousness in humanity mixed with the current cosmological aspects of Venus in motherly Cancer opposing Saturn the taskmaster in Capricorn has created a time period ripe for movement. It is a movement towards freedom from emotional constraints and patterns of lack that oppress your spirit....

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Unsolicited Advice: Helpful or Rude?

9/18/2018

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The need to “help” others or "fixing" the world and all that is wrong with it or whatever needs to be done “the right and proper way” has created a mindset amongst people with good intentions of overstepping the propriety of appropriate boundaries. It has become commonplace for people to give unsolicited advice even about the simplest of tasks. It is almost a thoughtless reaction by some to tell a stranger or loved one what they “ought to do, should do, or how to do something.” In the mind of those giving this advice it may seem to be helpful or even done presumably from a heartfelt place. Yet, unless done with permission, it is actually a violation of another person’s autonomy....

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Frugality, Self Reliance, Generosity and the Cost of Not Receiving

3/19/2018

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Photo by Evan Kirby

As a child of depression era parents, I was taught to be frugal. Growing up in a small farmhouse in the country, there wasn’t a need for many material possessions. Anything that one owned was valuable. Clothes were practical and seasonally appropriate. Taking care of them was necessary. If they became worn or torn, we mended them. I learned how to sew, knit and crochet from my mother and grandmother. To this day, I hand wash my sweaters and mend the moth holes. Repairing anything over throwing it out and buying new is a first response. If it can be fixed, do so....

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The Power of Forgiveness When You Have Been Wronged

5/20/2017

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You’ve heard it before, “Forgive and Move on,” and inside you are still reeling from the pain and hurt that has been done and there is no way you want to “forgive, forget or move on.” The feeling of violation is strong and you feel justified in blaming and having resentment. If you were betrayed, unloved, neglected, rejected, lied to, cheated, dismissed, manipulated, silenced, emotionally or physically abused, you want justice and acknowledgment of the wrong that has been done to you....

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What Happens to You when Your Family or Friends Disapprove

6/29/2016

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Conflict is difficult for me. Life has taught me that my desire for everyone to get along and be in harmony is an almost impossible expectation. I especially struggle when family members show disappointment and criticize my choice to do something, be with someone or be somewhere that goes against what they desire or want. It feels as though I am being torn apart and made to decide between my life and the people I love. No matter what choice I make someone will be hurt. In the past, guilt would tear at my heart and eat me up. The pain would muddle my thoughts and hold my energy hostage. I could not be fully present to my own needs. It created a “No-Win” situation for my family, my friends and me...

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Whatever happened to Kindness, Caring and Respect? Why Kindness Matters

3/31/2016

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Have you noticed a change in mainstream cultural values especially regarding the way people treat others? You may wonder what happened to kindness, caring and respect? Have you sensed a growing acceptance of rudeness and disrespect as being okay? Somehow we have forgotten how to be nice....

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Passion for Life: Creating Miracles

8/22/2015

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My brother loves cars, Classic Cars, especially Chevy’s. The kind of car that defines “Cool.” There is nothing more stylish than a cool classic 1955 Chevy BelAir with two-tone paint and detailed polished chrome, leather bench seats modified with a sizzling hot engine made for cruisin’ and drag racing. Since Drake was a wee lad, mechanical vehicles with powerful engines fascinated him. His first foray at driving was sitting high up on Papa Louis’ lap at the wheel of the farm tractor. He was probably 3 or 4 years old at the time and he’s been driving ever since....

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Using the Guidance of Your Inner Critic as a Touchstone for Healthy Internal Esteem (part 2 inner critic series)

6/19/2015

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Is your worth based upon your performance, or perhaps on your status or what you have acquired in life? Maybe it is based upon others' opinions of you. When the voice of your Inner Critic disapproves of your abilities, performance, appearance, the possessions you own, or how you appear to others it can feel like a severe blow to your self-worth. This often happens after you receive some disappointment or loss in life. In that moment, you begin judging yourself as “less than” or a failure, and your energy contracts. You protect your vulnerability by attempting to shut down or ignore the criticism. You try to control it by pushing against the voice. Whenever you push on an object or energy, you meet resistance. The response of the superego is to push back harder and criticize louder. It is merely doing its job of safeguarding your beliefs and values, holding you accountable and attempting to motivate you. (the inner critic part 1) It seems counterintuitive to approach this voice and find out what it is pointing out yet listening to it tells you how you judge and criticize yourself and what matters to you. It reveals what may or may not require a shift in perspective or a corrective action. One gift it gives you is showing you your level of esteem and if that is externally or internally driven self-esteem...

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My Heart Hurts: We Are One Family

Give Me a Break: Change and Transformation is Rocking My World

Wake Up to Your Life of Joy: Freedom from Oppression

Unsolicited Advice: Helpful or Rude?

Frugality, Self Reliance, Generosity and the Cost of Not Receiving

The Power of Forgiveness When You Have Been Wronged

What Happens to You when Your Family or Friends Disapprove

Whatever happened to Kindness, Caring and Respect? Why Kindness Matters

Passion for Life: Creating Miracles

Using the Guidance of Your Inner Critic as a Touchstone for Healthy Internal Esteem (part 2 inner critic series)

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