As a child of depression era parents, I was taught to be frugal. Growing up in a small farmhouse in the country, there wasn’t a need for many material possessions. Anything that one owned was valuable. Clothes were practical and seasonally appropriate. Taking care of them was necessary. If they became worn or torn, we mended them. I learned how to sew, knit and crochet from my mother and grandmother. To this day, I hand wash my sweaters and mend the moth holes. Repairing anything over throwing it out and buying new is a first response. If it can be fixed, do so....
You’ve heard it before, “Forgive and Move on,” and inside you are still reeling from the pain and hurt that has been done and there is no way you want to “forgive, forget or move on.” The feeling of violation is strong and you feel justified in blaming and having resentment. If you were betrayed, unloved, neglected, rejected, lied to, cheated, dismissed, manipulated, silenced, emotionally or physically abused, you want justice and acknowledgment of the wrong that has been done to you....
Conflict is difficult for me. Life has taught me that my desire for everyone to get along and be in harmony is an almost impossible expectation. I especially struggle when family members show disappointment and criticize my choice to do something, be with someone or be somewhere that goes against what they desire or want. It feels as though I am being torn apart and made to decide between my life and the people I love. No matter what choice I make someone will be hurt. In the past, guilt would tear at my heart and eat me up. The pain would muddle my thoughts and hold my energy hostage. I could not be fully present to my own needs. It created a “No-Win” situation for my family, my friends and me...
Have you noticed a change in mainstream cultural values especially regarding the way people treat others? You may wonder what happened to kindness, caring and respect? Have you sensed a growing acceptance of rudeness and disrespect as being okay? Somehow we have forgotten how to be nice....
My brother loves cars, Classic Cars, especially Chevy’s. The kind of car that defines “Cool.” There is nothing more stylish than a cool classic 1955 Chevy BelAir with two-tone paint and detailed polished chrome, leather bench seats modified with a sizzling hot engine made for cruisin’ and drag racing. Since Drake was a wee lad, mechanical vehicles with powerful engines fascinated him. His first foray at driving was sitting high up on Papa Louis’ lap at the wheel of the farm tractor. He was probably 3 or 4 years old at the time and he’s been driving ever since....
Using the Guidance of Your Inner Critic as a Touchstone for Healthy Internal Esteem (part 2 inner critic series)
Is your worth based upon your performance, or perhaps on your status or what you have acquired in life? Maybe it is based upon others' opinions of you. When the voice of your Inner Critic disapproves of your abilities, performance, appearance, the possessions you own, or how you appear to others it can feel like a severe blow to your self-worth. This often happens after you receive some disappointment or loss in life. In that moment, you begin judging yourself as “less than” or a failure, and your energy contracts. You protect your vulnerability by attempting to shut down or ignore the criticism. You try to control it by pushing against the voice. Whenever you push on an object or energy, you meet resistance. The response of the superego is to push back harder and criticize louder. It is merely doing its job of safeguarding your beliefs and values, holding you accountable and attempting to motivate you. (the inner critic part 1) It seems counterintuitive to approach this voice and find out what it is pointing out yet listening to it tells you how you judge and criticize yourself and what matters to you. It reveals what may or may not require a shift in perspective or a corrective action. One gift it gives you is showing you your level of esteem and if that is externally or internally driven self-esteem...
International Teacher Meditation Facilitator
Dreamer, Visionary, Writer