The shut down of the world came as a surprise. Did you even imagine that it would be possible for nearly 7 billion people to stop their ‘normal’ activities and go into seclusion? In my part of the world the retreat began in March. I was suddenly thrust into an alternate reality. But it took time for me to comprehend the change....
The shut down of the world came as a surprise. Did you even imagine that it would be possible for nearly 7 billion people to stop their ‘normal’ activities and go into seclusion? In my part of the world the retreat began in March. I was suddenly thrust into an alternate reality. But it took time for me to comprehend the change....
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Yesterday, my body collapsed and I was shrouded in despair and feelings of hopelessness over how we hurt one another. The weight in my heart gripped me in a state of grief and emptiness. Hopelessness and despair is a feeling that so many people live with every day. When you are constantly being denied, denigrated, blamed, shamed and worse in fear for your life, you can’t help but feel hopeless while the fire of an inner flame burns for equality. How demoralizing and bereft it is to not be free in a country that expounds freedom. I can only imagine the daily anguish felt from living this way. It is apparent that the acute pain caused by vile racism has plagued our nation since its inception causing the division and hatred we are experiencing today. We can no longer ignore the inequality and subjugation of any human. The separation we have caused is tearing us apart.... Doesn’t it feel wonderful when you know that someone cares for you? It is a deeply felt knowing that you are not alone in the world. It is an essential need. There is a longing to be connected to someone in your life that supports you and has your back. When you don’t feel “cared for” by your partner you experience disconnection. A lack of attention and care can leave you feeling unloved and forgotten...... What we are experiencing on the planet is unprecedented. Never before have we had the magnitude of global interconnection and communication during a crisis that affects every human being, as we are experiencing in this moment. Much of humanity is focused on the media, the daily changes in life and the effect it is having on distant parts of the globe as the Covid-19 virus circulates around the world. Where is your focus and attention going? You don’t need to listen to the news to know something remarkably uncommon is occurring.... It has been quite a ride and sometimes as I look back on 2019, I feel like my life was swept up inside a whirligig with the continuous momentum pulling me from one relational experience to the next. It has been a year of connecting with friends, loved ones and new people, which has been richly rewarding. There are so many dear people that I did not connect with yet have been so present in my heart. I remind myself that there is time for everything and how valuable it is to pause and reflect on what this year has brought... The sunlight bounces off the myriad shades of burnished auburn and gold as I rake leaves into plump piles. The azure sky is a deeper blue in autumn as the angle of the sun dips lower. The air has a bit of a chill. In Colorado the sun is quite intense and so the temperature is neither too hot nor too cold. It is the perfect time to be in the garden or golfing or hiking or doing any activity outdoors. "The Heart that gives thanks is a happy one, for we cannot feel thankful and unhappy at the same time." ~ Douglas Wood... Dandelion, “What’s in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet” and you with your bright golden shaggy Lion’s mane and your “dent de lion” serrated leaves will always remind me of playing in meadows and making dandelion chains. The French Norman word for tooth of the lion or lion’s tooth describes the tooth-like notched leaves of the dand-de- lion.... Sometimes it is best to move on. Do you need a kick in the pants to disengage from people or situations that do not support you? Rejoice because the support is here for you now. The rising social consciousness in humanity mixed with the current cosmological aspects of Venus in motherly Cancer opposing Saturn the taskmaster in Capricorn has created a time period ripe for movement. It is a movement towards freedom from emotional constraints and patterns of lack that oppress your spirit.... Your life is happening right now. Will you take the opportunity to connect with those you love and care about? Being able to communicate your thoughts and feelings with those you love and care about can be difficult but when you are able to share and be understood, there is almost no better feeling. It brings you a sense of place in the world. It helps you to know that you are cared about and safe. It can bring you greater intimacy and belonging. Skill is involved and many articles and books will outline the techniques of communication. Yet, at the heart of worthwhile communication is the desire and willingness to connect with honesty, kindness, well meaning and love. That can actually be a tall order.... It’s tough when you are triggered. It happens jet fast. All of a sudden a prickly energy runs up your spine and you feel the energy rush to your head. You are ready to fight and hotly defend yourself or your anger turns icy and you freeze out whomever or whatever is disturbing you. Either way you disconnect. It keeps you relatively safe, but it doesn’t feel good... There is Power in the Story You Tell Yourself The creative life force flows through you and manifests itself continuously. Your body is recreating itself from the patterns in your DNA, from the thoughts and beliefs you hold, and the images and emotions that stream through your heart. These are the elements of your story. Your story is vast. It is the story of your ancestor’s experiences and beliefs about life. It is the story of how they survived, their relationship to the land and the people they loved and those they had conflict with. It is the story of their pain and triumphs. It is the story of their culture, the language, songs, dress, customs and mores, religions, social organization, governance and the ways in which they formed community. Your story emerges from theirs but at the same time it is your own. In every moment you are born anew from the story you tell yourself about who you are... The need to “help” others or "fixing" the world and all that is wrong with it or whatever needs to be done “the right and proper way” has created a mindset amongst people with good intentions of overstepping the propriety of appropriate boundaries. It has become commonplace for people to give unsolicited advice even about the simplest of tasks. It is almost a thoughtless reaction by some to tell a stranger or loved one what they “ought to do, should do, or how to do something.” In the mind of those giving this advice it may seem to be helpful or even done presumably from a heartfelt place. Yet, unless done with permission, it is actually a violation of another person’s autonomy.... Typically, when couples enter counseling, they have built up a pressure cooker of issues that have created an atmosphere of resentment and distrust resulting in blame, misunderstanding, and unhappiness. Energetically, their wounded heart is stuck in a cesspool of hurt, anger and despair. It is difficult to see a way out yet usually at least one of them has a hope that things can improve... You’ve heard it before, “Forgive and Move on,” and inside you are still reeling from the pain and hurt that has been done and there is no way you want to “forgive, forget or move on.” The feeling of violation is strong and you feel justified in blaming and having resentment. If you were betrayed, unloved, neglected, rejected, lied to, cheated, dismissed, manipulated, silenced, emotionally or physically abused, you want justice and acknowledgment of the wrong that has been done to you.... The Longing for Home is the Longing to Belong. Isolation and the belief that you are alone in a chaotic world crushes your spirit. More and more in our world of inter-connected technology devoid of touch and face-to-face kindness, the dis-ease of isolation is causing depression and anxiety. A return to feeling connected to others and belonging here in the world begins with connection within and the sense of Home. The sense of Home is more than a function of place and time in the external environment. It is a deeply felt sense in the interior of your being. It arises in connection with your soul and an engaged, concerned relationship with the world... |
Psychotherapist MA
Clinical Hypnotherapist Relational Life Couples Therapist International Teacher Meditation Facilitator Shamanic Practitioner Dreamer, Visionary, Writer Recent Posts
March 2021
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