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 The shut down of the world came as a surprise. Did you even imagine that it would be possible for nearly 7 billion people to stop their ‘normal’ activities and go into seclusion? In my part of the world the retreat began in March. I was suddenly thrust into an alternate reality. But it took time for me to comprehend the change....
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 It has been quite a ride and sometimes as I look back on 2019, I feel like my life was swept up inside a whirligig with the continuous momentum pulling me from one relational experience to the next. It has been a year of connecting with friends, loved ones and new people, which has been richly rewarding. There are so many dear people that I did not connect with yet have been so present in my heart. I remind myself that there is time for everything and how valuable it is to pause and reflect on what this year has brought...
 Your life is happening right now. Will you take the opportunity to connect with those you love and care about? Being able to communicate your thoughts and feelings with those you love and care about can be difficult but when you are able to share and be understood, there is almost no better feeling. It brings you a sense of place in the world. It helps you to know that you are cared about and safe. It can bring you greater intimacy and belonging. Skill is involved and many articles and books will outline the techniques of communication. Yet, at the heart of worthwhile communication is the desire and willingness to connect with honesty, kindness, well meaning and love. That can actually be a tall order....
 We all do it, make assumptions about the intentions of others. Words or a behavior of someone disturbs your sense of self or connection and you get triggered from the wounded place inside of you. Suddenly your thoughts go to the worst scenario about them or your relationship with them. Your mind goes off into a story about the meaning of their words, actions or inaction and it gets magnified. These unconscious habits create misunderstandings, conflict, fights and assumptions about the intentions of the other person or their version of the truth. Whenever you claim to know what was “really” going on inside of another, you are sure to induce a collision of realities. The battle becomes “whose version is right?” In all probability neither of you is 100% correct.....
 The need to “help” others or "fixing" the world and all that is wrong with it or whatever needs to be done “the right and proper way” has created a mindset amongst people with good intentions of overstepping the propriety of appropriate boundaries. It has become commonplace for people to give unsolicited advice even about the simplest of tasks. It is almost a thoughtless reaction by some to tell a stranger or loved one what they “ought to do, should do, or how to do something.” In the mind of those giving this advice it may seem to be helpful or even done presumably from a heartfelt place. Yet, unless done with permission, it is actually a violation of another person’s autonomy....
 Is the turmoil and chaos around the world impinging upon your life? Is your level of anxiety increasing? Do you desire relief from uncertainty and stress? The world is rapidly changing and it may seem overwhelming to constantly experience so much change. You may want life to be simpler, easier, and less complicated. You may have a strong desire for peace and serenity, for all of the turbulence, disorder and conflict to stop. You want to enter into the “good times” where life is pleasurable and you look forward to each day without worrying about anything. You want space to breathe and relax. You want the “noise” to stop...
 As the year winds down, you may still be feeling the intensity of the tumultuous changes that have been taking place in your life and in the world. The Chaos discussed in October’s blog continues. For many it has been a stormy and uncertain time not knowing what it means for the future of the children and upcoming generations, the economy, the environment and the human species. On a more personal level, you may be anxious about your own future. There is a heightened sense of concern about matters that were once taken for granted or ignored. Major upheaval in the world is challenging to your sense of safety and security....
 Daily, you are being bombarded with news of disasters, endless tragedies, and destructive and dehumanizing behaviors causing you to be more aware than ever of the Chaos happening in the world. These random and outrageous events affect your sense of stability and security and may leave you feeling confused, disturbed, helpless and frightened especially when those unpredictable events cause death and destruction. You are connected in a way that you never have been before. Instant news and the Internet have created a dense enmeshed information web that envelops the globe. In any moment you can hear about a catastrophe at the farthest outpost on Earth. Your body knows even before your mind. You are feeling it energetically. You are connected through more than just the wireless radio waves that carry information. You are a cell in the body of humanity. Whether you like it or not, you are in a constant reciprocal flow with the human electromagnetic field coursing through your heart and processed through your body and brain....
 Sunbeams, blue sky and daily temperatures rising into the high 70’s beckon me into the garden. Sweet birdsong from robins, finches and doves lighten my mood. The bright blue jacketed jays distinctly stand out as they sit in tree branches just beginning to bud out. I feel drawn to the mystery taking place under the dry leaves. Finding my garden gloves and wielding one lawn rake, one shrub rake, my favorite Felco pruners, and garden shears, I venture into the orchard. It feels so good to stretch my arms and limbs in the rhythmic motion of raking the leaves and shriveled stems off of the candytuft. Luscious green mounds appear to float above the ground...
 I have never been comfortable with anger. It is disquieting, to say the least. I prefer smooth, harmonious relationships with no conflict; where everyone gets along and is accepting, even when they don’t agree. Anger disrupts my inner peace. It is a brash, bold, incorrigible bully with power and intensity that cannot be ignored....
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Dorothy Wallis
Psychotherapist MA
Clinical Hypnotherapist Relational Life Couples Therapist International Teacher Meditation Facilitator Shamanic Practitioner Dreamer, Visionary, Writer 
Affordable Counseling & Therapy
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