Your life is happening right now. Will you take the opportunity to connect with those you love and care about? Being able to communicate your thoughts and feelings with those you love and care about can be difficult but when you are able to share and be understood, there is almost no better feeling. It brings you a sense of place in the world. It helps you to know that you are cared about and safe. It can bring you greater intimacy and belonging. Skill is involved and many articles and books will outline the techniques of communication. Yet, at the heart of worthwhile communication is the desire and willingness to connect with honesty, kindness, well meaning and love. That can actually be a tall order....
It’s tough when you are triggered. It happens jet fast. All of a sudden a prickly energy runs up your spine and you feel the energy rush to your head. You are ready to fight and hotly defend yourself or your anger turns icy and you freeze out whomever or whatever is disturbing you. Either way you disconnect. It keeps you relatively safe, but it doesn’t feel good...
Did a ray of sunlight enter your life and suddenly a radiant being appeared in your midst that invoked a magnetic pull? What attracted you to your partner in the first place? Did she have a smile that melted you? Did his enthusiasm and playful nature capture your desire for freedom and fun? Did you admire his or her humor, assertiveness, confidence, or intellect? Did she or he possess a savvy adventurous spirit? Did you share similar interests or concordant life paths? Perhaps it was charm and kindness that felt like a comforting hug. Did you feel safe? Maybe you experienced your partner intently absorbed and interested in you. It felt so special. To be truly seen fulfills a longing to be known. Knowing we are accepted just as we are gives us a sense of deep belonging.....
As the year winds down, you may still be feeling the intensity of the tumultuous changes that have been taking place in your life and in the world. The Chaos discussed in October’s blog continues. For many it has been a stormy and uncertain time not knowing what it means for the future of the children and upcoming generations, the economy, the environment and the human species. On a more personal level, you may be anxious about your own future. There is a heightened sense of concern about matters that were once taken for granted or ignored. Major upheaval in the world is challenging to your sense of safety and security....
The Longing for Home is the Longing to Belong. Isolation and the belief that you are alone in a chaotic world crushes your spirit. More and more in our world of inter-connected technology devoid of touch and face-to-face kindness, the dis-ease of isolation is causing depression and anxiety. A return to feeling connected to others and belonging here in the world begins with connection within and the sense of Home.
The sense of Home is more than a function of place and time in the external environment. It is a deeply felt sense in the interior of your being. It arises in connection with your soul and an engaged, concerned relationship with the world...
WAKE UP! WAKE UP! Cock-a-doodle-do Cock-a-doodle-dooo!!!!
WAKE UP! WAKE UP! It’s not going to stop…there is a relentless alarm to
Everywhere you look, people are in a heightened alert state. Everywhere you look, things are heating up and the steam is rising. There is fire in the core of our Being to wake up to our humanity, to wake up to the unity of all. Unity is a fact. Are you experiencing it? Only through experiencing it do you really know it.
You might be annoyed by the extremes of this fire and of the blatant way the Rooster crows…louder…and louder...and louder. It won’t let you fall asleep. It won’t let you be complacent. You are waking up to life and to existence.
What is your desire? Is it to have more material possessions, to have positions, titles, or achievements? Do you hold resentment, judge, want to control, or gain something from others? These desires are driven by psychological drives. Is it the desire to exist…the desire to be…the impulse to be compassionate? All of these experiences are a part of existence.
What is left after all of these drives and experiences? It is simply Love. There is a kind of love that is redeeming.
Restorative Love is “to restore things to their natural condition of Wholeness”
It is this kind of Love that is an impulse to realize our Oneness with all of life. There is a deep connecting field of energy called Love that is continually working within each and every one of us to be conscious of our unity.
This Fiery Rooster energy is showing us all of the ways we have separated from each other and ourselves and to notice the ways we can come into greater unity by connecting. What works and what doesn't? Let this fiery energy work for you. It offers a big push to boldly look at your shadow aspects, reflect upon your values, communicate your truth, set appropriate and healthy boundaries, and become more compassionate and caring.
This year is one of being aware of Relationship in All ways and forms. What is your relationship with pleasure? What is your relationship to people that have different views than yours? What is your relationship to your family and friends? Are you cultivating compassion? Are you consciously connecting with greater understanding? Are you willing to deeply look at the parts of you that separate and where you connect? It is simply to be Aware. Whatever you find, it is all right. Give yourself permission to feel what you feel. It does not make you wrong or bad to have desire, to have separated from yourself or to separate from others. Observe where you are. Awareness itself brings an awakening of consciousness.
I have never been comfortable with anger. It is disquieting, to say the least. I prefer smooth, harmonious relationships with no conflict; where everyone gets along and is accepting, even when they don’t agree. Anger disrupts my inner peace. It is a brash, bold, incorrigible bully with power and intensity that cannot be ignored....
“Anxious, stressed, scattered, I can’t concentrate and can’t sleep through the night. I am not in physical danger, but I just never feel safe.” The aftermath of fearful situations or the uncertainty that the world is not a safe place can leave you shaky, unsure and on edge. You have lost a grounded sense of security. How do you develop an internal feeling of safety? You may wonder if or even believe that a haven of serenity exists inside of you, but when fear arises you may wonder how to get past the fear...
Fear gets a bad rap. When it strikes, it zaps you with an instantaneous jolt of alarm so powerful that nothing else registers but the feeling of sheer panic. Your body screams, “I could die, I could be harmed, I am in danger.” All of your senses and bodily functions are corralled into doing just one thing….to get you away from whatever is the source of danger. With lightning speed Fear propels you towards Safety. It is the body’s most protective emotion.....
Do you want to have friends, be liked and create a fabulous first impression? Then, courteous and respectful behaviors are ones you will want to acquire. Being respectful, polite and having good manners creates harmonious relationships and connections. We all enjoy people that make us feel seen and heard. When people are interested in your opinions and interests, you feel valued and accepted. When people pay attention to making you comfortable and safe, and respect your personal space and possessions, you feel their care. A person who offers generous doses of kindness and consideration is likable, attractive and more successful in life....
Relational Life Couples Therapist
International Teacher Meditation Facilitator
Dreamer, Visionary, Writer