Yesterday, my body collapsed and I was shrouded in despair and feelings of hopelessness over how we hurt one another. The weight in my heart gripped me in a state of grief and emptiness. Hopelessness and despair is a feeling that so many people live with every day. When you are constantly being denied, denigrated, blamed, shamed and worse in fear for your life, you can’t help but feel hopeless while the fire of an inner flame burns for equality. How demoralizing and bereft it is to not be free in a country that expounds freedom. I can only imagine the daily anguish felt from living this way. It is apparent that the acute pain caused by vile racism has plagued our nation since its inception causing the division and hatred we are experiencing today. We can no longer ignore the inequality and subjugation of any human. The separation we have caused is tearing us apart....
Doesn’t it feel wonderful when you know that someone cares for you? It is a deeply felt knowing that you are not alone in the world. It is an essential need. There is a longing to be connected to someone in your life that supports you and has your back. When you don’t feel “cared for” by your partner you experience disconnection. A lack of attention and care can leave you feeling unloved and forgotten......
What we are experiencing on the planet is unprecedented. Never before have we had the magnitude of global interconnection and communication during a crisis that affects every human being, as we are experiencing in this moment.
Much of humanity is focused on the media, the daily changes in life and the effect it is having on distant parts of the globe as the Covid-19 virus circulates around the world. Where is your focus and attention going? You don’t need to listen to the news to know something remarkably uncommon is occurring....
Dandelion, “What’s in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet” and you with your bright golden shaggy Lion’s mane and your “dent de lion” serrated leaves will always remind me of playing in meadows and making dandelion chains. The French Norman word for tooth of the lion or lion’s tooth describes the tooth-like notched leaves of the dand-de- lion....
Your life is happening right now. Will you take the opportunity to connect with those you love and care about? Being able to communicate your thoughts and feelings with those you love and care about can be difficult but when you are able to share and be understood, there is almost no better feeling. It brings you a sense of place in the world. It helps you to know that you are cared about and safe. It can bring you greater intimacy and belonging. Skill is involved and many articles and books will outline the techniques of communication. Yet, at the heart of worthwhile communication is the desire and willingness to connect with honesty, kindness, well meaning and love. That can actually be a tall order....
The need to “help” others or "fixing" the world and all that is wrong with it or whatever needs to be done “the right and proper way” has created a mindset amongst people with good intentions of overstepping the propriety of appropriate boundaries. It has become commonplace for people to give unsolicited advice even about the simplest of tasks. It is almost a thoughtless reaction by some to tell a stranger or loved one what they “ought to do, should do, or how to do something.” In the mind of those giving this advice it may seem to be helpful or even done presumably from a heartfelt place. Yet, unless done with permission, it is actually a violation of another person’s autonomy....
Your first entrance into the world begins with relationship. You come into the world with a small body that needs nurturing and care. You cannot survive on your own. You are not ready to stand and take care of yourself; you are dependent and vulnerable. Naturally, there is an inborn fear of separation and a need to attach and bond. Dependency is a gift that makes it necessary for you to be connected and engage with people and life. Being seen with caring attention not only means that your basic physical needs will be met, it also fulfills a soulful need of value for simply being, it reflects back to you that you exist. “I exist, therefore I am.” You have an innate need to know that you belong, are valued, have meaning and are inherently good and worthy....
Daily, you are being bombarded with news of disasters, endless tragedies, and destructive and dehumanizing behaviors causing you to be more aware than ever of the Chaos happening in the world. These random and outrageous events affect your sense of stability and security and may leave you feeling confused, disturbed, helpless and frightened especially when those unpredictable events cause death and destruction. You are connected in a way that you never have been before. Instant news and the Internet have created a dense enmeshed information web that envelops the globe. In any moment you can hear about a catastrophe at the farthest outpost on Earth. Your body knows even before your mind. You are feeling it energetically. You are connected through more than just the wireless radio waves that carry information. You are a cell in the body of humanity. Whether you like it or not, you are in a constant reciprocal flow with the human electromagnetic field coursing through your heart and processed through your body and brain....
You’ve heard it before, “Forgive and Move on,” and inside you are still reeling from the pain and hurt that has been done and there is no way you want to “forgive, forget or move on.” The feeling of violation is strong and you feel justified in blaming and having resentment. If you were betrayed, unloved, neglected, rejected, lied to, cheated, dismissed, manipulated, silenced, emotionally or physically abused, you want justice and acknowledgment of the wrong that has been done to you....
WAKE UP! WAKE UP! Cock-a-doodle-do Cock-a-doodle-dooo!!!!
WAKE UP! WAKE UP! It’s not going to stop…there is a relentless alarm to
Everywhere you look, people are in a heightened alert state. Everywhere you look, things are heating up and the steam is rising. There is fire in the core of our Being to wake up to our humanity, to wake up to the unity of all. Unity is a fact. Are you experiencing it? Only through experiencing it do you really know it.
You might be annoyed by the extremes of this fire and of the blatant way the Rooster crows…louder…and louder...and louder. It won’t let you fall asleep. It won’t let you be complacent. You are waking up to life and to existence.
What is your desire? Is it to have more material possessions, to have positions, titles, or achievements? Do you hold resentment, judge, want to control, or gain something from others? These desires are driven by psychological drives. Is it the desire to exist…the desire to be…the impulse to be compassionate? All of these experiences are a part of existence.
What is left after all of these drives and experiences? It is simply Love. There is a kind of love that is redeeming.
Restorative Love is “to restore things to their natural condition of Wholeness”
It is this kind of Love that is an impulse to realize our Oneness with all of life. There is a deep connecting field of energy called Love that is continually working within each and every one of us to be conscious of our unity.
This Fiery Rooster energy is showing us all of the ways we have separated from each other and ourselves and to notice the ways we can come into greater unity by connecting. What works and what doesn't? Let this fiery energy work for you. It offers a big push to boldly look at your shadow aspects, reflect upon your values, communicate your truth, set appropriate and healthy boundaries, and become more compassionate and caring.
This year is one of being aware of Relationship in All ways and forms. What is your relationship with pleasure? What is your relationship to people that have different views than yours? What is your relationship to your family and friends? Are you cultivating compassion? Are you consciously connecting with greater understanding? Are you willing to deeply look at the parts of you that separate and where you connect? It is simply to be Aware. Whatever you find, it is all right. Give yourself permission to feel what you feel. It does not make you wrong or bad to have desire, to have separated from yourself or to separate from others. Observe where you are. Awareness itself brings an awakening of consciousness.
Relational Life Couples Therapist
International Teacher Meditation Facilitator
Dreamer, Visionary, Writer