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Give Me a Break: Change and Transformation is Rocking My World

12/31/2019

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It has been quite a ride and sometimes as I look back on 2019, I feel like my life was swept up inside a whirligig with the continuous momentum pulling me from one relational experience to the next.  It has been a year of connecting with friends, loved ones and new people, which has been richly rewarding.  There are so many dear people that I did not connect with yet have been so present in my heart.  I remind myself that there is time for everything and how valuable it is to pause and reflect on what this year has brought...

Knowing and Trusting Your True Feelings is Key​

The energy of this year invited us to deepen our relationship to self and others, which continues as we move toward unity.  Finding the balance in your own life means taking time to look inward and getting in touch with your true feelings and desires.  Tremendous healing is possible and supported through unearthing the shadow aspects that hold you back or are no longer required when you honestly look at your life and outworn patterns.  It is important to stay grounded by actually sticking with what you are feeling instead of pushing uncomfortable or painful emotions away.  This is how you find the truth of what is going on inside instead of believing it lies somewhere outside of you or in another.  When you connect with your emotions and desires, you engage with your essence self.  The more you access your True Self, the more you develop greater trust and acceptance of your wholeness.  Trusting your own goodness expands your vision and opens possibilities especially when you purge the negative disempowering beliefs.  Insights abound and the creative juice of the universe is allowed to move freely through you.  Doubt and confusion cannot exist when you trust your deepest truth.  This is truly a release from bondage.   
 
Your practice of these principles may go smoothly and then the inevitable bumps and challenges of life erupt.  It is then when faith in your ability to face the unknown and uncertain outcome is activated.

Loss Catalyzing Change

Letting go was a theme for many this year.  Loss may have been in the form of a health crisis, or a relationship, or career, or an aspect of your life that had given you much meaning.  Change is a constant and yet not welcomed when what had been in your life nourished you or gave you a sense of identity.  Whatever had been in your life before offered you something for your growth.  When the loss is seen with the eyes of what was gained rather than all that is lost, there is a profound sense of acceptance.  It is then that integration can occur and the ability to cherish what was and to be able to move into what life is now offering.

There is a longing in the consciousness of humanity to explore deeper levels of intimacy within the self and through others.  What catalyzes this inner search transpires through various situations.  Perhaps a relationship that seemed so stable suddenly found you distraught and questioning whether to stay or go.  Shallow meaningless relationships that do not spark growth or that do not support your values or integrity are not satisfying.  The dissatisfaction is a motivator to look squarely at your needs and desires.  The stimulation from the frustration champions your deepest yearnings to be seen and not ignored by You.  Even though you may want a partner, friend, or colleague to know what you need, the reality is for you to know what you need.  Only when you know what you need can it come into your life.  If you don’t know, how can anyone else know?  The creative force operates through inner insight of what you want to create in your life and then propels you to push beyond your doubts and fear to take action towards it.  It asks you to trust your inner guidance, which knows what is most beneficial for you.  Are you willing to ask for what you need?  Are you willing to tell someone when you are hurt?  Are you willing to act upon and create what you want? 

All relationships with others go through rocky periods from harmony to disharmony.  Knowing how to respond with what is true for you is fundamental for reaching harmony.  Being truthful with your needs may also bring about a realization that the previous form of your relationship has come to completion.   Allowing the transformation can be difficult yet when you are honest with yourself you will discover the great reward in the change because being true to yourself is a deeply nurturing and gratifying act.


The Path to Inner Security

Most often the internal disruption is not about your partner, friend, foe or the relationship.  It is about a change in direction.  Your soul is bringing you a new experience that is necessary.  The beauty and love you received from a primary relationship has filled you and given you the treasure of knowing another and seeing the reflection of yourself through them.  Leaving behind a person that has provided comfort, security and love is devastating.  Why does it have to end?  Equally crushing is the loss of relationship with a part of yourself through a physical impairment or of your identity when your livelihood, career, retirement or other changes in your lifestyle occur.
Only to the Extent That We Expose Ourselves Over and Over to Annihilation can That Which is Indestructible Be Found In Us.
~ Pema Chodrin
So why, you ask is this happening?  How can loss of any kind be in my highest good?  The American Tibetan Buddhist nun, Pema Chodrin, offers words of insight.  “Only to the extent that we expose ourselves over and over to annihilation can that which is indestructible be found in us.”  This is when strength and resilience unfold from within.  In the heart of you is this indisputable essence of fortitude and inner security.  The inner security you are searching for is not outside of you or found in another person, it is eternally a part of your essential nature.
The disruptions in your life bring you closer and closer to the realization of who you really are.  By befriending yourself you engage the small moments of life with love and devotion.  Each moment becomes a precious albeit fleeting experience.  Through thick and thin you learn how to be compassionate with yourself. 
 
Rapid change is happening and you cannot avoid it.  Transition is a constant pattern.  You may want change and fear it as well.  Look back at this year and the one before it.  How have you weathered the changes in your life?   Change is not always smooth and yet, here you are.  You’ve got this.  Each time you stay with the doubt, hurt, anger, sadness, and shakiness you get better at being with it.  Give yourself credit and Give yourself a break.

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Copyright © 2015 by Dorothy Wallis TheDorWay All Rights Reserved
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    Dorothy Wallis
    Psychotherapist MA
    Clinical Hypnotherapist
    Relational Life Couples Therapist
    International Teacher Meditation Facilitator 

    Shamanic Practitioner
    Dreamer, Visionary, Writer

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