You have been told stories about your emotions that are not true. I do not wish to call them lies because for the most part these “untruths” were unintentional. These falsehoods have led to more suffering and pain. They have kept you from connecting to yourself, your inner guidance and your heart...
You have been told that some emotions are “good” and other emotions are “bad.” You have been told to control some of them or to not feel some of them. A name has been given to the emotions that are unwanted; they are called “negative or afflictive.” Who would not want to push away something that is negative or afflictive? By calling them a derogatory name, you are automatically judging those emotions as something not wanted and not valuable.
You have been taught many ways that seem harmless to push away, ignore or get rid of these emotions and yet these ways are disconnecting you from yourself. They are disconnecting you from your inner guidance and your ability to navigate this reality. Instead of empowering you, some of the more benign techniques teach you how to “manage” your emotions, not connect with them. At the worst, the methods taught are controlling and shaming. You end up feeling that something is wrong with you for having powerful emotions.
Unfelt emotions gather, build up inside of you and grow. Eventually they expand into a swirling mass of unexpressed energy. The pressure builds, shakes, rumbles and bubbles up to the surface. Each time the unwanted bits that you don’t want to feel come up, you think, “I don’t like that, it makes me feel awful. How can I get rid of it?” You focus on the “goal” of eliminating it. You may judge the emotion, shove it back down, pretend it doesn’t exist, distract your attention away from it, cover it over with a more “positive” feeling, project it onto someone or something else, or shame yourself for having it or not being able to get rid of it. None of these methods actually change anything or bring you sustained relief.
Have you ever wondered why you have emotions that do not “feel” good? There is a long history of demonizing these emotions. These are seen as bad or even evil and if these emotions arise within you, you are then thought to be bad for having them. Anger and depression are ones that top the “shameful” list. If you believe that being angry or depressed means you are a bad or disturbed person then you are not going to want to feel or admit experiencing those states nor will you be willing to go deeper into them to understand or find out what those states are telling you.
You have been taught many ways that seem harmless to push away, ignore or get rid of these emotions and yet these ways are disconnecting you from yourself. They are disconnecting you from your inner guidance and your ability to navigate this reality. Instead of empowering you, some of the more benign techniques teach you how to “manage” your emotions, not connect with them. At the worst, the methods taught are controlling and shaming. You end up feeling that something is wrong with you for having powerful emotions.
Unfelt emotions gather, build up inside of you and grow. Eventually they expand into a swirling mass of unexpressed energy. The pressure builds, shakes, rumbles and bubbles up to the surface. Each time the unwanted bits that you don’t want to feel come up, you think, “I don’t like that, it makes me feel awful. How can I get rid of it?” You focus on the “goal” of eliminating it. You may judge the emotion, shove it back down, pretend it doesn’t exist, distract your attention away from it, cover it over with a more “positive” feeling, project it onto someone or something else, or shame yourself for having it or not being able to get rid of it. None of these methods actually change anything or bring you sustained relief.
Have you ever wondered why you have emotions that do not “feel” good? There is a long history of demonizing these emotions. These are seen as bad or even evil and if these emotions arise within you, you are then thought to be bad for having them. Anger and depression are ones that top the “shameful” list. If you believe that being angry or depressed means you are a bad or disturbed person then you are not going to want to feel or admit experiencing those states nor will you be willing to go deeper into them to understand or find out what those states are telling you.
Emotional Crying is cleansing and one of the body's natural ways of healing. It releases built up tension and toxic stress hormones. As you allow the authentic expression of your tears without shame, you ease stress, elevate your mood and get in touch with your deeper feelings. Shaming or critical thoughts, such as seeing yourself as weak or thinking being vulnerable is bad, cancels the incredible healing benefits of tears.
In my experience with clients, anxiety is a monumental concern for most people. Research affirms that prolonged chronic anxiety and stress can compromise the immune system. Naturally, people want to be healthy and so assume that all anxiety and stress is detrimental and therefore seek to eliminate it. There is a huge focus on getting “relief” from anxiety and stress in our culture and an entire industry aimed at ways to eradicate it. Did you know that there is healthy stress? Short-term anxiety and stress gives the body a physiological boost in energy providing mental alertness, increased performance in tasks, enhances creativity and motivation, and actually elevates the immune system. Moderate exercise is a prime example of stressing the body, which increases circulation, muscle mass and performance. Moderate constructive stress reduces chronic stress.
What is Happening to Your Thoughts?
Much of the adverse reaction you have when experiencing feelings comes from the belief that some emotions are negative, bad, or not normal. You may not have realized how much your experience of emotions is influenced by your judgment and thoughts about them. As soon as you begin to sense a “negative” emotion arising, your habitual response to it will execute. You automatically resist being present to the actual physical sensations and feelings. Thinking that the emotion is “bad” is an action of resistance. You are pushing against the energy and the intensity of the sensation amplifies, strengthens and endures. The physical sensations of stress are the same whether you perceive them as negative or positive. When you experience them as positive, you don’t resist the sensations. You actually enjoy feeling them.
Take a moment to feel the sensations of anticipation and anxiousness. What is the difference? Notice how the physical sensations of both are the same. The difference happens in your mind and the way it interprets the experience. When you feel positive anticipation your thoughts are filled with happy future outcomes and the giddy, jumpy sensations in your body are received with pleasure. When you anticipate a negative future, you perceive it as anxiousness. Your mind recalls every conceivable past memory and experience that did not work out the way you wanted or you imagine how terrible it could be. Your mind is showered with a deluge of thoughts and races between a series of bad outcomes. You automatically retract and push against a dreaded future. The sensations inside of your stomach and brain now become uncomfortable or even perceived as repulsive with the resistance. As you dwell on these thoughts, the physical sensations escalate and can turn into actual physical illness. The meaning you give an experience is derived from the mind. Thoughts, judgments and beliefs influence your perception and alter the actual reality.
Take a moment to feel the sensations of anticipation and anxiousness. What is the difference? Notice how the physical sensations of both are the same. The difference happens in your mind and the way it interprets the experience. When you feel positive anticipation your thoughts are filled with happy future outcomes and the giddy, jumpy sensations in your body are received with pleasure. When you anticipate a negative future, you perceive it as anxiousness. Your mind recalls every conceivable past memory and experience that did not work out the way you wanted or you imagine how terrible it could be. Your mind is showered with a deluge of thoughts and races between a series of bad outcomes. You automatically retract and push against a dreaded future. The sensations inside of your stomach and brain now become uncomfortable or even perceived as repulsive with the resistance. As you dwell on these thoughts, the physical sensations escalate and can turn into actual physical illness. The meaning you give an experience is derived from the mind. Thoughts, judgments and beliefs influence your perception and alter the actual reality.
Your Mind Cannot be Trusted
If you are in imminent danger your reactions are swift. You don’t have time to think. Your instinctual gut response of self-preservation takes over. Most of the time, we are not in immediate physical danger. In the present moment, you are experiencing something that has never happened before. It may look or feel similar and this is when the memory bank of the past comes forward to advise you. Past experiences and memory do not convey the truth; they only provide partial and limited information and an idea of what may be true. Memory is not reliable nor is it accurate. Each experience you have is flavored by your beliefs. Furthermore, each time you retrieve a memory it is altered even if slightly. The past can inform but never totally assess the present moment or decide the future. If you only base your response on thoughts, you are missing out on the wisdom that your body, emotions and inner guidance offers in the present.
Why Some Emotions Don’t Feel Good
An emotional response is often triggered when a current experience resembles a past one. The emotion is a vibratory impulse of awareness. The emotions that are annoying, disturbing, frustrating, distressful and painful are the ones that are warning you and sending you a message that you need to pay attention, be alert and aware of what is happening around you. It may be something that is happening in your external environment or reality or in your internal reality. The energy is expanding your awareness and altering your physiology toward action or inaction and offering a conscious perception we call feeling so that you can determine what to do, not do or integrate an important experience.
Your Emotional Sensory System is a Powerful Resource
The Truth about emotions is that they are ALL purposeful and very powerful. Emotions are not some defective malfunction of your body. Your body is a finely tuned efficient creation. Your emotions are part of a highly developed sensory system created to navigate and experience earthly reality. The vibrations of feeling and sensation offer unseen knowledge. At the deepest level emotions guide you toward your highest good.
Your five senses, vision, touch, hearing, smell, and taste, take in a wealth of information. Another organ, the heart, is constantly scanning the inner and outer environment with an enormous electro-magnetic field. Heart Math research has found that the electrical field of the heart is 60 times greater than the electrical field of the brain and the magnetic field is 5,000 times greater than the magnetic field of the brain. Emotions, through the exquisite vibration of feeling, transmit this sensory information to every cell of your body. By not feeling your emotions you are casting aside a treasure trove of knowledge.
Use all of your resources. Instead of negating your emotions, pay attention to your emotions and allow yourself to welcome the bodily sensations and healthy emotional expression of your feelings. You will come to know and love the incredible guidance the emotional sensory system offers.
Your five senses, vision, touch, hearing, smell, and taste, take in a wealth of information. Another organ, the heart, is constantly scanning the inner and outer environment with an enormous electro-magnetic field. Heart Math research has found that the electrical field of the heart is 60 times greater than the electrical field of the brain and the magnetic field is 5,000 times greater than the magnetic field of the brain. Emotions, through the exquisite vibration of feeling, transmit this sensory information to every cell of your body. By not feeling your emotions you are casting aside a treasure trove of knowledge.
Use all of your resources. Instead of negating your emotions, pay attention to your emotions and allow yourself to welcome the bodily sensations and healthy emotional expression of your feelings. You will come to know and love the incredible guidance the emotional sensory system offers.
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